III. Unheard

We have all been through deeply painful events at one point in our lives. Some cut deeper than others, but all of it leaves a mark. You would think that because we have all experienced hardship, we would be sympathetic to others’ pain but unfortunately, some are not. Some will abuse their power and use your most vulnerable moments against you. The worst part? They will place the blame on you and say it was somehow your fault that it happened. Even if they have lived through the exact same kind of suffering, they will claim theirs was worse, based on nothing but technicalities.

Some people carry their pain as fuel to move forward, determined never to endure it again. Others let it freeze them in place, and from that stillness, they lash out at the ones they love. Not because they are beyond saving, but because they never sought the help and guidance they truly needed and they refuse to recognise that, or take any accountability.

What you have been through is valid. Regardless of its form or intensity, it is real. If someone blames you for the pain you never asked for the hurt someone else decided you deserved, do not listen. Those people carry their own wounds, but instead of healing, they use their past to attack others. They turn it into a competition, as if the validity of a person’s suffering can be measured and ranked. It only makes them feel better about their own.

Because unlike you, you can recognise your flaws and your faults. But theirs? They will always remain in the shadows visible enough for others to see, but never enough for them to look inward and take accountability. They refuse to see that though they have suffered, they are now becoming part of someone else’s painful story. They do this by blaming you for what another person did to you.