V. Existence

Have you ever felt like you are living someone else’s life? You feel like you are existing but not living. You live life on a fight or flight response, but you are never truly at peace and I mean, who is? Life is full of obstacles you need to tackle, and life isn’t what it’s like in the movies. But oh, we sure can wish it was.

You feel like you are watching everyone else’s life, while yours is passing by ever so slowly. You see everyone else around you doing something with their lives, even though they are facing their own demons in silence, but you just can’t seem to be able to balance both. You try and you try, but it only pulls you deeper into that dark place that you have tried so hard to pull yourself out from.

You try your best to get to the next level, but there is something keeping you from that and you will never know what that may be until things do begin to go right. And that is when you will maybe be thankful for this delay. Maybe you are not receiving that one thing you need because God is trying to push you towards putting yourself first, to help yourself because of all those years where you neglected yourself, only to lead back to the same place time and time again. And you wonder why this is happening. Why you keep coming back to the same place.

Now, that is the question only you can answer. And when you have maybe, just maybe then you will see that the delay was not to punish you, but to help you actually dig deep into your soul to see what you desperately need and kept ignoring all these years.